The Chance of a Lifetime: Pokemon GO Fest 2019



Should I Even Try to Win?


If you asked me a year ago about wanting to travel anywhere away from my normal "daily" ventures, it would be a solid, "NO."  Over the past year, I have been working on getting over certain fears that were cause by traumatic experiences of my past.  I refuse to allow them to control my future anymore, though.

Attacking my social anxiety, head on, was the first challenge.  As a child, I was sheltered, and not allowed outside to play, to go to parties with "friends," or even stay at school later than usual without a reason.  So, venturing out on a simple outing to play Pokemon GO in a park was too much at one point.  The interaction with people I did not know or trust in an environment I was not used to, had me frazzled.  I was lucky to have befriended someone who I have grown to trust.  We have grown close and he helps me each and every day to combat these inner demons that others have instilled in me.  Having to fight off irrational fear because someone else programmed you to think the world was out to get you, is very hard to reverse.  


If I Win, There Will be 15,000 People There....Am I Mentally Prepared for That?


Constant doubt in myself leads me to a daily, internal struggle, this time, between taking a shot at an adventure or contemplation of even deserving to go on a trip where I am able to enjoy myself.  Having such a protective family, would they even allow me to leave? Would there be too many questions asked? Will my answers not appease their programmed set of "acceptable" answers that I may reply?  I am an adult who is almost 30 and they still treat me as if I am a bratty, irresponsible teenager when I may be the most responsible one in our household.  Knowing this and knowing I have never been on a "real" vacation, besides hurricane evacuations or family visits, I really wanted to go to Chicago.  I would be able to see a part of the country I have never seen before.  This excited me along with the idea of hunting for Pokemon in a beautiful park with thousands of other trainers, who are just as excited as I am.  With my usual self-doubt and hate, I figured I would never win or not have the option to get tickets to go.  This may be seen as being negative, but my track record shows that more bad than good has happened throughout my lifetime.  Throwing that aside, I signed up and eagerly waited for an email that just seemed like it would never come in.  Was I dumb to sign up?  Was I even crazier to think that me winning was even a possibility? That is the depression and anxiety talking, but I was so sure that I was not gonna be selected.  There are over 7 million players worldwide, so the probability of little old me winning was, slim and none, with the drawings being in small waves.  They also seemed to be totally random, with no notification as to when they were being done, leaving all entrants stressed out, and feeling helpless.  I remained hopeful and had faith that my "winning email" was just waiting to be sent out. 

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